How McDonald's Saved The Future
Ah, legal laughs so dear to my heart.....
Somewhere, sometime today, I ran across a listing of this year's Stella Awards, the legal version of the Darwin Awards.
Somebody got to rhuminating on the McDonald's burn case so many years ago, (you know the one--lady pulls up to the drivethrough, orders one "liquid-hot magmachino," spills it on her lap as she screeches from the parking lot, sues the Golden Arches for her stupidity, wins $2.o million dollars) and it got me thinking about Tort Reform and its impact on society.
Just imagine--the McDonald's lawsuit never happens. McCoffee continues to be served at sun-hot temperatures......
...Rewind to the year 1992. Two robots are sent back in time to Los Angeles, one to kill John Connor, and one to save him.
Much R-rated action ensued. However, instead of this cross-dimensional confict culminating in a knock-down drag out in a smelting factory, Ahnold and the T1000 decide to resolve their differences over a nice cup of coffee at McDonalds:
Somewhere, sometime today, I ran across a listing of this year's Stella Awards, the legal version of the Darwin Awards.
Somebody got to rhuminating on the McDonald's burn case so many years ago, (you know the one--lady pulls up to the drivethrough, orders one "liquid-hot magmachino," spills it on her lap as she screeches from the parking lot, sues the Golden Arches for her stupidity, wins $2.o million dollars) and it got me thinking about Tort Reform and its impact on society.
Just imagine--the McDonald's lawsuit never happens. McCoffee continues to be served at sun-hot temperatures......
...Rewind to the year 1992. Two robots are sent back in time to Los Angeles, one to kill John Connor, and one to save him.
Much R-rated action ensued. However, instead of this cross-dimensional confict culminating in a knock-down drag out in a smelting factory, Ahnold and the T1000 decide to resolve their differences over a nice cup of coffee at McDonalds:
Ahnold: Zere, you zee? Cyborgs and Too-minators can be friendz.
T1000: Thank you for helping me see that programmed and indiscriminate
killing of innocent people is as wrong in the 20st century as it is in the 23rd
century. Cheers!
(T1000 takes a drink, his eyes widen and he begins to melt.
Ahnold reaches out and grabs the polymetalalloy punk by the throat.)
Ahnold: ENJOY YOUR UN-HAPPY MEAL OF DEATH YOU
LIQUID METAL BAS-TAHD!!!.....
(I know you laughed. Just admit it.)
tale spun by Cherith Cutestory at 3:58 PM
1 Comments:
Coffee is delicious. I love it. I burn myself and spill it all over the place all the time. It is the elixir vitae of which the alchemists spoke.
Paracelsus, for his own part, drank McDonalds coffee every day, like that dude in Super Size Me. Except for that dude in that movie was a total idiot.
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