Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

Where have I been for the last 6 months?

I think I was lost, on a beach, somewhere near the Equator.

While I was basking in warmth and light, I noticed that the bright object in the sky that you people refer to as "the Sun" was sinking into the ocean. Directly above it was another heavenly orb, which I've heard referred to as "the Moon." As the Sun sank and the Moon chased after it, it became darker. I asked the question, "Oh no! Is the Moon eating the Sun?" My consternation was at its zenith.

Then suddenly, everything went dark. Except now the Moon was glowing, clearly a result of the meal it made out of the the Sun just minutes before. And it must have been quite a struggle, for all over the backdrop of darkness little holes punched through where the Moon's fangs missed their mark.

There was little left to be done except recline, stare up at the Moon and its thousands of tiny little bite-marks, and allow myself to drift asleep.