Cast of Characters

After returning to Nashville from yet another sojourn into Eastern Tennessee on my crusade against managerial malevolence, Ms. Cutestory and I celebrated the homecoming by partaking in our weekly Wednesday ritual of catching the new episode of "Lost."

Comprising approximately 1/5 of the televisions series we've managed to squeeze into our busy schedules (the "Others" being Arrested Development, 24, The Office, and Alias), "Lost" is the quintessential ensemble mystery/drama show, chock full of interesting characters who find themselves locked in a mortal battle with both the unknown perils of a deserted island and the dangers posed by their fellow travelling refugees.

As I watched Sawyer and Chah-lie's characters take most unfortunate turns for the worst (Say it ain't so, Merry!), I began to ask myself which character on "Lost" I most identified with.

Between returning phone calls all morning, catching up on email, and doing a bit of legal research on high-seas piracy, I finally figured out which cast-away I was, which in reflection, wasn't all that big of a surprise:

You are Jack. Self-appointed hero and doctor extraordinaire, it's your job to save everyone. You have little time for fun and games, but you do like a good stiff drink every now and then. You prefer your stitches black and have been known to make gross pasta comparisons. And if anyone needs CPR or a tracheotomy, you're the correct person to go to.

Self-evident: schooled, serious, solving the world's problems on his own, and he gets crapped on alot because of his willingness to put himself out there. I am Big Gay Jack.

Bo:

You are Locke. A mystery within a mystery. You're a fountain of backgammon trivia and an expert with knives. You might like pina coladas and definitely like getting caught in the rain. You prefer keeping to yourself mostly, but you'll tell your secrets to the right person. Are you evil? Your accompanying soundtrack sure is sinister.

Take-charge kind of guy, feels compelled to push the button everyday, and is just plain weird sometimes. Oh, and you can see alot of their scalp, but Bo has some catching up to do in this regard.

Tony:

You are Sayid. Military background, walking Boy Scout, world traveler, with just a small penchant for torturing people in order to get what you want. Sensitive romatic at heart. Skinny, perky blondes turn you on, but things don't always end on a happy note.

Spider:

You are Charlie and Hurley. On the one hand, you are wry, sarcastic, and take everything in a funny light. On the other hand, you love to rock and roll all night (and party ev-er-ry day), and will occasionally piss people off while trying just to be a nice guy who means well.

Kevin: This almost too close...scary.

You Are Sawyer. You're a realist, not an idealist. Sarcasm, wit, and leers run rampant whenever you are around. Whether it's making a racist remark or shooting a polar bear, you're sure to leave a lasting impression on those around you. Add a cigarette and some beard stubble, and the formula for redneck charm is complete.

So, ask yourself: which "Lost" character are you?