Four Rules for Derby, 2005 Edition
Kate did not accompany me to the 2005 Derby festivities in the 'Ville. Her parting gift to the revelers was a set of guidelines for maximum enjoyment in her absence:
1) Please keep Joey on a leash after 1 a.m. He's prone to drunken wandering, which often leads togetting "lost in the woods" and calling his wife to find his way home.
2) Despite his trying to convince you that his mother-in-law will love to hear from him at 4 in the morning, please please don't let Joey dial my family's home phone number. That's what cell phones are for.
3) Ladies, by no means should you sit down on the grass in the infield. Don't even think about it. Also, be afraid of the port-o-pots. Be very, very afraid.
4) Have an awesome time and take lots of pictures...and be sure to include some horses in the background of those shots with the ladies baring their boobies Mardi Gras style.
1) Please keep Joey on a leash after 1 a.m. He's prone to drunken wandering, which often leads togetting "lost in the woods" and calling his wife to find his way home.
2) Despite his trying to convince you that his mother-in-law will love to hear from him at 4 in the morning, please please don't let Joey dial my family's home phone number. That's what cell phones are for.
3) Ladies, by no means should you sit down on the grass in the infield. Don't even think about it. Also, be afraid of the port-o-pots. Be very, very afraid.
4) Have an awesome time and take lots of pictures...and be sure to include some horses in the background of those shots with the ladies baring their boobies Mardi Gras style.
tale spun by Cherith Cutestory at 12:56 PM
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