Five Questions
I can't take credit for this idea, but I thought it would reverberate with this crowd and spark some interesting discussions. So, without further ado...
1.) What is the worst DVD/video you own?
Mine has got to be updated version of "Flight of the Phoenix." Whatta piece of crap movie. And I like Dennis Quaid. But I couldn't have been less interested in the storyline. So--they crash. Why? I really don't remember. I do remember wishing that all the passengers had died, because not a single one was likeable. Oh, and the movie starred Tyrese--Tyrese for f-sake. The ending was absolutely abyssmal--they fly off into the sunset. Let's forget for a minute that they have zero gas. They're still in the middle of the desert. And criminally--they end it with the "plane" flying up over the hill. WTF? So, we won't actually watch them get rescued...we'll just fade to black and assume it all went to plan, what? Shitty, shitty movie. If I had more hands, I'd give that movie 4 thumbs down.
2.) What is the worst concert you’ve ever seen in person?
Easy--Dave Matthews Band. Which is has got to be a coup, because believe it or not, I've seen both the Screamin' Cheetah Wheelies and Nelly live in person. In my defense, I saw the show back before society began to realize that every DMB song sounds exactly the same. It was my freshman year in college, right after Crash was release and became the ubiquitous soundtrack of college life. Walking through the Quad? "Too Much." At a Party? "Two Step." Making out back in the party room during SYR? "Crash Into Me." It penetrated us, surrounded us, and bound our campus together. It was only fitting that I bring it full circle with a live performance, right? Well, turns out that Dave was feeling under the weather that night. So instead of peppering us with rhythmic falsettos and growls, the band gave us 15-minute f-ing violin solos with a few lyrics sprinkled here and there. And the set and the venue sucked butt--big time. So Dave, know this--I'd rather sit through St. Lunatic improv rap and be blinded by shiny gold teeth for 90 minutes than experience your droll, repetitive shit ever again. Guess you don't have "so much to say" now, do ya bitch?
3) What is the worst experience you’ve ever had at a restaurant?
London--1999. A group of 150 students just arrives that morning for a six-month semester of study abroad. Feeling unbound and brave, a few of us walk around the block to the first exotic restaurant we can find, which turns out to be an Indian restaurant. As in dot--not feather. We sit down and look at the menus, only to find that where there are supposed to be words there are Microsoft Word wingdings and what look to be hieroglyphics. So, do we ask for assistance in ordering? No--the stupid Americans order 4 entrees and a side of bread with 3 different colored sauces. 40 minutes later, the food arrives. 5 minutes after that, the group realizes they've made a horrible mistake, as nobody can eat this food. A waiter arrives expecting simply to fill water, and instead the stupid Americans ask for the check. Who should bring it back but a burly looking Bollywood crime boss who explains in his polite Indian accent that we've insulted both himself, the restaurant, the other patrons, and indeed the other 7 billion citizens of his country by ordering food we had no intention of eating. I was on the ground in England for less than 8 hours, and already I've made myself persona non grata with the natives. Sweet. The stupid Americans walk somberly back to their flats, where we're just too sick with ourselves to cook up bangers and mash. We never went back. But the good news is, I am finally eating Indian food again. It only took 6 years.
4.) What is the worst movie you’ve ever seen in the theatre?
"Love Stinks." Don't believe me? Just read my review.
(Pop-Up Trivia: I actually walked out the theatre 15 minutes into the movie. No lie. And there were two people humping silently twelve rows back. Worst movie experience ever. I've hated French Stewart ever since.)
5.) Who is the worst looking or least appealing celebrity you would have intimate relations with “just to tell the story”? Assume marital or other obligations did not exist. Assume no consequences arise therefrom. Here’s where we find out just how disgusting my readers are. The person must be a celebrity though - as in needs no introduction or explanation. The opposite gender is not required.
Hmmm....this one is a toughy. Probably have to go with either former Attorney General Janet Reno or Sarah Jessica Parker. Why Janet Reno? Because I'll bet during pillow talk she'll tell me all the juicy details behind the Clinton administration scandals. Why Ms. Parker? You might think that she doesn't count as a "worst looking" or "least appealing celebrity." But she does to me. She looks like a damn Kentucky Derby winner shaved down to the bare skin. Everytime I see ol' horseface on a GAP commercial it makes me wanna get her a feed bag just so I don't have to look at her. Plus I found her to be gratingly annoying on Sex and the City, but that is just a bonus.
1.) What is the worst DVD/video you own?
Mine has got to be updated version of "Flight of the Phoenix." Whatta piece of crap movie. And I like Dennis Quaid. But I couldn't have been less interested in the storyline. So--they crash. Why? I really don't remember. I do remember wishing that all the passengers had died, because not a single one was likeable. Oh, and the movie starred Tyrese--Tyrese for f-sake. The ending was absolutely abyssmal--they fly off into the sunset. Let's forget for a minute that they have zero gas. They're still in the middle of the desert. And criminally--they end it with the "plane" flying up over the hill. WTF? So, we won't actually watch them get rescued...we'll just fade to black and assume it all went to plan, what? Shitty, shitty movie. If I had more hands, I'd give that movie 4 thumbs down.
2.) What is the worst concert you’ve ever seen in person?
Easy--Dave Matthews Band. Which is has got to be a coup, because believe it or not, I've seen both the Screamin' Cheetah Wheelies and Nelly live in person. In my defense, I saw the show back before society began to realize that every DMB song sounds exactly the same. It was my freshman year in college, right after Crash was release and became the ubiquitous soundtrack of college life. Walking through the Quad? "Too Much." At a Party? "Two Step." Making out back in the party room during SYR? "Crash Into Me." It penetrated us, surrounded us, and bound our campus together. It was only fitting that I bring it full circle with a live performance, right? Well, turns out that Dave was feeling under the weather that night. So instead of peppering us with rhythmic falsettos and growls, the band gave us 15-minute f-ing violin solos with a few lyrics sprinkled here and there. And the set and the venue sucked butt--big time. So Dave, know this--I'd rather sit through St. Lunatic improv rap and be blinded by shiny gold teeth for 90 minutes than experience your droll, repetitive shit ever again. Guess you don't have "so much to say" now, do ya bitch?
3) What is the worst experience you’ve ever had at a restaurant?
London--1999. A group of 150 students just arrives that morning for a six-month semester of study abroad. Feeling unbound and brave, a few of us walk around the block to the first exotic restaurant we can find, which turns out to be an Indian restaurant. As in dot--not feather. We sit down and look at the menus, only to find that where there are supposed to be words there are Microsoft Word wingdings and what look to be hieroglyphics. So, do we ask for assistance in ordering? No--the stupid Americans order 4 entrees and a side of bread with 3 different colored sauces. 40 minutes later, the food arrives. 5 minutes after that, the group realizes they've made a horrible mistake, as nobody can eat this food. A waiter arrives expecting simply to fill water, and instead the stupid Americans ask for the check. Who should bring it back but a burly looking Bollywood crime boss who explains in his polite Indian accent that we've insulted both himself, the restaurant, the other patrons, and indeed the other 7 billion citizens of his country by ordering food we had no intention of eating. I was on the ground in England for less than 8 hours, and already I've made myself persona non grata with the natives. Sweet. The stupid Americans walk somberly back to their flats, where we're just too sick with ourselves to cook up bangers and mash. We never went back. But the good news is, I am finally eating Indian food again. It only took 6 years.
4.) What is the worst movie you’ve ever seen in the theatre?
"Love Stinks." Don't believe me? Just read my review.
(Pop-Up Trivia: I actually walked out the theatre 15 minutes into the movie. No lie. And there were two people humping silently twelve rows back. Worst movie experience ever. I've hated French Stewart ever since.)
5.) Who is the worst looking or least appealing celebrity you would have intimate relations with “just to tell the story”? Assume marital or other obligations did not exist. Assume no consequences arise therefrom. Here’s where we find out just how disgusting my readers are. The person must be a celebrity though - as in needs no introduction or explanation. The opposite gender is not required.
Hmmm....this one is a toughy. Probably have to go with either former Attorney General Janet Reno or Sarah Jessica Parker. Why Janet Reno? Because I'll bet during pillow talk she'll tell me all the juicy details behind the Clinton administration scandals. Why Ms. Parker? You might think that she doesn't count as a "worst looking" or "least appealing celebrity." But she does to me. She looks like a damn Kentucky Derby winner shaved down to the bare skin. Everytime I see ol' horseface on a GAP commercial it makes me wanna get her a feed bag just so I don't have to look at her. Plus I found her to be gratingly annoying on Sex and the City, but that is just a bonus.
tale spun by Cherith Cutestory at 10:57 AM
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