The Hunchback of Notre Dame

During my three-day trial a few weeks back, I pulled a muscle in the lower part of my back. I was out of commission for a couple days, but started to feel better due to the influx of muscle relaxers, anti-inflammatories, and Sweetwater 420 Pale Ale.

I thought I could go out and play a harmless little game of kickball last night. I thought this game did not require the level of athletic prowess and exertion that might trigger a reactivation of my pulled muscle.

I thought wrong.

Now, it hurts to lean over the sink to shaves, to put on my shoes, and to sit here drafting legal memoranda.

I am getting fat and old and brittle, and I don't enjoy it one bit.

Kate and Joey enjoying a night on the town.

In case you were wondering, I am the fat worm puffing on the hooka pipe.

That's How I Prole

My Tuesday night was dinner at the Vanderbilt University Club with judges, lawyers, and other notable members of Nashville's local bar association, where our guest speaker (one himself a former founding editor of USA Today) regailed us with advice for managing your client's media relations. Dinner consisted of Smothered Chicken, haricot verts, and salad with creamy Italian. We swapped stories of cases past, legalese, and the occassional name-drop to impress.

My Thursday night is already booked: a fundraiser and dinner for Senate-hopeful Harold Ford, Jr. Sure to be a suave affair full of distinguished dignitaries at one-hundred dollars a head, all of whom wish to see our junior congressman and rising star in the Democratic Party fill the seat left vacant by Majority Leader Frist. Power mongering at its finest.

In stark contrast, on Wednesday night I have my first kickball match. Our team name? "Drinking Team With a Kickball Problem." This was chosen by a slim margin over the runner-up: "Nicole Kidman Got Drunk and Pooped In My Front Yard." Our field is a dirt patch in the middle of Ghettotown, a suburb of downtown Nashville. We still can't decide what beverage to go with: cases of PBR, a Party Ball and styrofoam cups, or 40oz. of Old English and Mickeys. With any luck, the hangover will last until just before I get in my car and drive to the swanky restaurant where the future Senator awaits to greet my bloodshot eyes, cloudy memory, and massive cheap beer headache.

That's how I roll.

"Yes, I am beautiful, and I just pooped in your front yard."

Puff, puff, give--the rotation

Wow--my life has been tumultuous since my last blog update. Traveling nearly every day for work, not to mention a 3 day trial that just wrapped last week. But some cool things going on as well for me and Kate:

- Joey just went to his niece's baptism in Indianapolis with the rest of the clan.
- Kate just got a job offer with a consulting firm in Nashville, and will likely escape the maw of the hopelessly bureaucratic federal government soon.
- We have procured the services of a realtor and will be moving (hopefully) by the end of the summer (read: before football season begins) into an actual house. Now, if we can just find the house we want in the location we want for under $400,000, this plan would be great.
- Today, I saw an unidentified guy in a green Tahoe with a Notre Dame sticker on the window waving a big pink dildo out the window. My only question is: Bo, when did you get into town, and why haven't you called me?

Now, for the rest of the updates:

Bo:
- Busy being a dad in the upper Pacific Northwest.
- Dad is finally home from the hospital and continues his recovery.
- He, Rhiana, and Evelynn will be in Louisville the last week in July, Monday the 24th to Monday the 31st, for Evie's baptism, which will likely be the afternoon of the 29th, followed by a celebration at my parents' house.

Tony:
- Got his assignment (finally) to a National Guard/Reserve aviation brigade at Ft Hood, Texas. - The unit is scheduled to deploy to Iraq in August.
- Tony will be a logistics officer, and a company commander in the support battalion, which means he'll be in charge of the guys who fuel, maintain and do other logistics stuff to keep the helicopters flying.

Spider:
-Finished his swanky movie in the Hamptons.
- Looking for a 4th of July "adventure" with his girlfriend, Lauren.
- Going to Costa Rica in July, learning to surf. Woo!

Steph:
- Going to Ocean City, Maryland the weekend of Evie's baptism.
- Ugg....taking the Michigan bar exam on the 25th and 26th, so doing a lot of studying to do in the meantime.
- Can't wait for football season, so we can all go to her house and crash on the floors and drink excessive amounts of alcohol and break things like her widescreen flat panel tv.

Katie:
- Sending me emails asking me to join her "job contacts" or some shite. That's it.

That's all for now, kids. Football season is just around the corner. First game is in Atlanta against Georgia Tech, and Kate and I already have our hotel reservation. I encourage everyone to join us down there the first week of September (read: Spider, who will likely decide to drive down on Friday night before the game).

Know what I found?

One NES Max controller.

A copy of Legend of Zelda.

A copy of Adventure of Link.

A copy of Donkey Kong Classics.

A copy of Nintendo Golf.

Oh....and Kate has an 8-bit NES system that does NOT have a blue or green screen when you turn it on.

It's going to be a great weekend.

Universal cure to pre-marital sex and the dreaded blue and green flashing screen.